Saturday, March 01, 2008

Hypodermics in the Sea Foam

These things tend to accumulate without homes further than files in folders. Might as well get them out.

-I wish N*Sync had gone out with one final album, called “Spit On My Dick”, and promoted the shit out of it.

-Supposedly there’s a video in which a guy sings the “Terminator” theme song while slowly, slowly raising a shotgun to his mouth. He pulls the trigger just a few notes into the part with the horns. The video is called “Possibly The Funniest Thing Fucking Ever”.

-When people ask me if I think Beyonce’ was good in Dreamgirls, I tell them no. But I don’t think they’re ready for that jelly.

-My grandfather used to say “I’ve never met a man I didn’t meet.” However he also used to call teardrops “Kid Lube”, so it’s not that cute.

-I don’t think I got the job. During the personality test they asked me if I thought rape was the same as murder. My answer was, “Did she enjoy it?"

-Best way to get rid of homeless people: yell "Get out of here, you GHOST."

-"I don't think we should be friends anymore. But hey, here's a t-shirt, thanks for comin' out."